OGR 04/02/2016Hi Katie,Okay, so your story works, your storyboard is largely communicative and your provisional character designs are very encouraging, so much of my feedback is about the importance of refinement and determining your visual concept etc.Firstly, send me your narration script, as it could do with a polish in the first instance. Getting some kind of decent voice-over is now one of your responsibilities for your animatic and pre-viz, and that will start with ensuring the narration is up to scratch. It's good, if a bit clunky, so send it my way via an email.In terms of the presentation of your script - you don't have a screenplay yet; you've got long passages of description that don't give information re. shots and camera coverage etc. Take a look at some of your classmate's scripts (Tom Smith / Deanna), but also take a look at the pro examples in the Scriptwriting Resources folder on myUCA for further guidance re. the ratio between technical language and description etc.As you think about moving towards submission - and moving towards your animatic - you'll need to commit to the production of a 'presentation' storyboard - a much more polished version of the thumbnail panels presented here, in which you should demonstrate your knowledge of the conventions of storyboarding as and when appropriate. This version should seek to communicate your story with complete clarity.Re. design; all I'd suggest is you think a little more about the ethnicity of your story as it relates to the idea of the yeti: the yeti associates with the Himalayas, and in terms of visual culture, the Himalayas associate with imagery like this:http://www.torkelsonphotography.com/wp-content/uploads/galleries/post-90/Himalaya%20Culture%20(16).jpghttp://lh3.ggpht.com/_toXeR3qtCfc/S27LwXr3gWI/AAAAAAAADKk/XgzuFfPss08/s640/Sue%20Group-114.jpgIn short, I think you're missing a trick in terms of making best use of your setting and all that it brings with it in terms of design. I think you've got a too European-flavour going on, when actually your Yeti character gives you something more unique and unusual to work with.So, take a look at the proper conventions for presenting a script via Adobe Story; think about better identifying your visual concept for everything from characters to cloaks to castles to interiors to birds (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Endemic_birds_of_the_Himalayas) ! And as you think about taking your story into the animatic stage, be sure to develop your storyboard into a client-facing version, with all the bells and whistles. Oh, and don't forget to think too about your sound design - and that includes your narration. You're onto something with this story, Katie - so push, and push hard to get it up to scratch by deadline day.