Monday, 25 January 2016

@Phil Storytelling and Commission: Post OGR 1 Feedback

From the feedback received I have remade my story as follows:

A snow king loses his queen in a tragic incident that caused her to melt away. Stricken with grieve, the king spent his days wandering around his castle until he comes across a mysterious room containing nothing but a huge icy mirror. Mesmerised, the snow king looks at the mirrored surface as it reveals an image of him and his deceased love. Due to his lack of activity as king, the staff of the castle get fed up and leaves the king to wallow at his reflection.
One day, the silence in the castle is interrupted by the pained squarks of a bird, it's wing is broken. At first the snow king tries to ignore the creature, as it pitifully tries to flap around, bashing into priceless artefacts in its futile attempts of flight. Growing impatient the snow king rushes over to the bird only to see that the injury is quite severe. With a disgruntled huff he agrees to help the bird and proceeds to bandage the wing before carrying it to his room.
From there a series of scenes will happen showing the improvement of the bird's body and showing how the king is slowly warming up to the small creature. By the time the bird as healed up, he hears the sound of cracking coming from the mirror room. He runs into the room, with the bird following behind him, to see that the mirror is cracking up, the reflection of him and his queen distorting, before finally the mirror shatters on the ground revealing a door. As he gentle opens the door, a forceful blast forces the door to open widely, his bird companion flies in without warning into a sunny clearing in a wooded area. He stumbles into the mysterious place, chasing after the bird as they adventure deeper into the woods. The camera pans back to the door, revealing the spirit of the snow queen.

1 comment:

  1. Like it! Now, that's an awful lot of backstory to get on screen in a short time, so you'll need to think of efficient, dynamic ways to get all of that established for the audience - I look forward to you taking this into development!