Wednesday 12 December 2018
Minor Project: Updated Audio for Mr Plimsolls
Mr Plimsolls Audio Version 2 from Katie Lima on Vimeo.
After receiving feedback from Phil for the previous post, I went back to the audio and made some adjustments, mainly getting rid of any dialogue that changes the focus from Mr Plimsolls to the person speaking as well as tweaking other dialogue, making it shorter and flow a bit faster to help in reducing the overall time of the audio.
The overall goal this time round was to have a build up of Mr Plimsolls being this scary character up until the reveal that he was just an old man and it was the children making up stories and being frighten of him solely based on his appearance, as the last version I posted didn't have that flow to it.
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Well done, Katie - this is looking much more manageable now, don't you think? A couple of suggested tweaks:
ReplyDelete1)I think you can remove the second mention of 'plimsols' - you establish that image in the opening line and I think it would be better if you let the second voice develop those other images without that repetition.
2)In terms of the ending, I'd consider swapping the segments around, so that it ends with the male voice saying "Well, we were just kids, weren't we?" That feels like an ending to me.
Just in terms of that squeaky gate... whenever I hear that line I see a moment in your film when we see the gate make this noise itself - so it grows eyes and a mouth and lip-synchs to the "creak" in that classic 'Merry Melodies' style of talking trees and animated furniture - it would be very 'on message'... (as in what happens to the front of the car in this lovely pastiche: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7sxFyu_U2go)
I think you need to remember too that you're pushing all the environments/furniture design/rooms whatever to resemble a kid's memory/fabrication of these moments, so when you think about your bungalow design etc, you're going to need to dial up the exaggeration a lot! :)